Descions

Decisions I used to date her acantha in spicy drill Shaundeal was her name. We twain went to Cheyenne High School I meet her in the tenth grade In an side of meat class.

We also rode the same bus as her so we became goal friends in a short time.

During the school year we both were dated other people. However then we soon started to expect feelings for one a nonher, so we broke up with our partners and started dating from apiece one other in February. We were both sexually active so I had no problem inductting to her house aft(prenominal) school where we would spend time together. This lasted until school ended in summer of 1999. That is when we broke up and she had moved. We shut away remained close through friends and our feelings still were strong for each other.

School was back in session and we were in the eleventh grade. She had moved back to her ancient house and we started hanging tabu together after school again, but we soon lost interest in each other. During the middle of the school we stop talking and went our separate ways. I was dating another girl and she was seeing some one else also.

This lasted until our senior year in high school she was in a serious relationship with her boyfriend who she had been dating since petty(prenominal) year and I was single, beneficial chillin on the block. After get-go she was pass through some problems with her boyfriend so I would council her on her problems on the phone. One day we agreed to go see a movie together.

After the movie, we had went to the park and that is when we had sex.

We had not done that since our junior year in high school. I saw her another both or three generation and on two of those accessions we had unprotected sex.

I left for two weeks for Boston to visit my family in late June. When I came back from my trip I got a phone call from her and she told me she was pregnant. at a time I asked how far along she was and she said, Ab divulge three weeks which was most the time we had sexual intercourse. The second thing I asked her was, claim you told your boyfriend yet? and she replied No. I felt a sign of relief and anxiety at the same time. I had never been in this position before and I didnt command to be in it at all.

Shaundeal was just as worried as I was. She didnt admit if should classify anyone or just keep it to herself and let the events play out. We were both in a state of helplessness and I unfeignedly had no advice for her. stillbirth came up and she didnt know how to take it.

Her thoughts were, If I kill this s behaver I will be denying a girt from God; on the other hand, if I keep this child i would not know who the baby father is for sometime. All I could hold close to was the thought of me being a father I was fresh out of highschool not yet undefended to the real world. Taking care of a child is a big responsibility that I wasnt ready for, but something told me I should be by Saundeals side and let things play out and take care of what is mine if the child was. Mixed emotions contend in Shauns and my mind for about a week and a half. Long hours on the phone figuring out if she should tell her boyfriend and her family that she was pregnant or not.

I still was joust toward her getting the abortion, but I still had that feeling within of me that was telling me over and over again that I should have this baby by Shaundeal, if it was mine. It would be an experience that would be the greatest. The beside day she told me she had scheduled an appointment to have the abortion. She told me that she didnt want me to stand for too much of it and just to go on with my flavor and not retrieve about it but the thought plagued me ilk a disease.

She was taking my advice and I didnt even want to seek it l. Finally, the day came and she called me early that morning to tell me everything was going to be ok and that this was for the best. I couldnt take the news so I told her to call me back when it was done.



For the next two days thoughts and emotions ran passim me like water coming out a faucet. Images were in my head day and night all I could think about was what if it was mine. Would it look like me and have my eyes and my personality or would it take after its mother and be as pretty as the sunrise, a boy or girl. Would he or she be gay or straight? This was in my dreams and I just couldnt shake it until she called me back. She told me the operation was easy and tender and that she immediately felt better. Suddenly Id almost cried, but I didnt let her know. She had told me that she told her boyfriend about our short term shun we had behind his back but I in truth wasnt really paying any attention. His feelings were the lastthing on mind.

As she talked and talked there was something that was burn mark in the back of my head that I had wanted to know since the day I had come back from my trip. Was the unborn child really mine? I didnt ask her while I was on the phone because I didnt know how she would have reacted to the question. I waited a few days after the incident. I hadnt really an idea on how to bring it up, but I was going to ask her so I paged her and she called back. We talked on the phone for about fifteen or twenty minutes until I blurted out and asked if the child had really been mine. There was a long weaken on the phone, and then she said No there was insouciance on my shoulders and mind.

I was sweating the worst and I had zippo to worry about. As I awoke from my dream I was still disturbed by the news Shaun had told me, I wish I could go back and change the past as I envished I had told her not to go through with the abortion . trance I lay there in my bed I said to myself I will never make a decision like that, ever again, in my life.

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